When I think back over my life, I can only recount two things I had a burning passion for. Firstly, I’m a dormant musician meaning, the skills are still in me but, I don’t use them and two, I wanted to be a basketball player. Now the basketball thing was a dream that deep down I knew I didn’t stand a snowballs chance in hell of achieving. I was average height, above average weight and I didn’t have the skill or confidence to achieve that dream. I will say that both passions were nuclear. I spared no expense to try and achieve it. For a little while, that passion pushed me to fight for them and I was able to get my hands on them but, life pushed a little harder causing me to question my dreams and in the end, fear pushed me to let them go. Let me tell you a little about those passions.

I grew up in church and, when you’re around that much music and so many great musicians, that music bug can’t help but rub off on you. My first passion was drumming. The feeling I would get on the inside from the different rhythms being played was intoxicating. How everything fit together. How the drums and bass guitar were the foundation and lock for the song. Even though there was a foundation, there was space for everyone to go their own way and just like that, they’re locked in with each other again. A young kid with a love for music didn’t stand a chance.

So, when I worked up the nerve, I went up to the drummer and asked him to teach me a beat. He showed me the most basic beat he could show me which was like calculus to someone who had never held a pair sticks. It was called “4 on the floor”. Basically you hit the bass drum for all four beats, then you work in the snare on 2 and 4 and lastly you work in the high hats with 8th notes. You do that over and over until you can start and stop the beat at will without messing up. I took that and ran with it. Within a year I was being called to back the main drummer when he didn’t show. That was just the beginning. A few years later I learned about jazz and my beloved fusion. I learned about artist like Vinnie Colaiuta, Dave Weckl, Dennis Chambers and Virgil Donati just to name a few. I would by anything and everything they were featured on and for hours I would sit and absorb their music and tracks. Then I would Pick out a drum lick and just practice it over and over until I had it down. I will say back I had amassed a lot of chops from all that practicing. It was so much fun. I met a lot of people who shared those passions and we worked out ideas together. The more I learned, the bigger the dream became. You couldn’t tell me I wouldn’t be traveling and touring with an artist while living the dream.

But, (and you knew that was coming) I hit a ceiling. I wasn’t moving up. It was like I was stuck on that ceiling and couldn’t progress no matter how hard I worked or tried. Some of that ceiling was people, yes they can be some of your biggest roadblocks but, mostly it was fear. I was scared of what people would say, I was scared I couldn’t hold my own and, in most churches, the musicians section had its own audience and all of those eyes would make you tense up like a freight train was headed straight at you. Also, a lot of bad situation just suck the life out of any dream you can have if you let it which I did. Through all of that which was maybe a 24 year span (from about 14 to 38) I had a family and, I had to ask myself, do you want to keep at this? Do you want to be a starving artist? Now I had a fulltime job though most of this but, the dream was to be gigging so hard that my family was taken care of, not the $50 or $100 gigs I would get here and there. By this time I was suppose to be flying in and out of the country with Micheal Jackson or Bruce Springstein not still doing the little gigs I was doing where I might be playing for 4 people in the audience hoping the check don’t bounce, lugging this heavy equipment around. The repeated cycles of this and not seeing a opening in that ceiling that I could escape through to get to the next level wore me down.

This should be short and sweet. For the time, the Micheal Jordan Come fly with me documentary was life changing. My friends and I would just sit and watch this video over and over again. This is where my love for the game back then came from. The stories on the video, the action clips, the music, smh just everything. It seemed like God crafted that perfection by his own hands. Just like the drums, you couldn’t watch that experience and not feel like you couldn’t duplicate it. Especially since Mike got cut from his sophomore basketball team and went on to be the juggernaut he was. It didn’t matter that MJ grew 6 inches between his sophomore and junior year and I was about 5’9, hey Mike did it so I could too. I think it was the dominance that sucked you in.

So, just like the drums, I started working. I had never played organized ball so I asked myself, what do I need to work on first? ….dribbling. I bought a ball, watched video and got to practicing. Next, shooting. I didn’t think nothing about defense. All I wanted to be able to do was get to the rim and posterize someone. Oh, did I mention the plyometrics? I was doing that before I even knew what it was. I would go in my basement and tie a rope between chairs and just jump back and forth also, for each jump I would do a squat. Now let me tell you, that stuff works. Not only did I jump higher but, I started loosing weight. I just knew I was on my way to either Play with MJ or take his place. To make a short story less long, competition put a end to all that. Once again I hit that ceiling but, this time it was more physical. What am I gonna do against a person that’s 6’4 and has been training since birth and I’m 5’9 and the only training I got was the moves I learned it that Micheal Jordan Documentary? Then just like the drums, that old penguin toed monster fear peeps in. I was awesome when I was alone and practicing but, once that defender gets in front of you and all that’s on your mind is not screwing up while he’s looking at you with bloodshot eyes like the ball is a piece of raw meat you are the dinner plate. Reality sets in real quick. Needless to say I never made a team. Wow I can’t even say I rode a bench lol.

You see the two constants, a ceiling and fear. It may not be the same for everyone but, some will relate. If you don’t relate but, you have passions that never seemed to come to fruition, you have to talk a long look at your life and find the root of what may have held you back. For me it was hitting the ceiling and not knowing how to bust through it. Like I said the ceiling could be anything like weight, resources, skill and, people etc. I might not have ever made it to the pros but, the Plyometrics I did helped me loose weight and jump higher. The drills I did helped me play a little better and go from being picked last to being picked somewhere in the middle. Hey that’s a accomplishment. The practicing I did and the discovering of new styles of music like fusion, Latin and reggae music allowed me to play more than just gospel music at gigs.

In closing, I used my two passions as examples of how we can have things we really want but, let circumstances knock us off course. I didn’t have to be like that back then and it don’t have to be like that now or in the future. Most of us slow down after 50. Whatever fire we had has long been extinguished. Now all we have to look forward to are work, bills and the occasional vacation. Get you something to do that rekindles that fire. Go to the gym so you can look better. Join a book club and meet new people. Join a bowling league. Do something that puts a little joy in your life and build off of that. I don’t want to be living after 50 and all I’m doing is counting the days until retirement. I use to work with those guys and they looked miserable. If you like to dance, take some dance classed and take your significant other out for a spin. Just small steps. Small wins everyday. Life is short. I’d rather have those small wins everyday verses monotonous living. Get up, get going and make your later life the greater part of your life.

Until next time, win the day everyday